People in Clinic are very stressed and it’s showing up in usual ways. Some people exhibit physical symptoms like neck pain, back pain. I’ve treated 10 different cases of shingles ( thank goodness that is not contagious). A tremendous amount of insomnia and nightmares, especially in the early morning. A tremendous amount of irritability and mood swings. Even from people that that’s not their thing. Can you imagine that happening with every family member and everyone experiencing these symptoms at different times in the days and weeks. It’s a roller coaster for sure.
I’ve not had some of my best moments during this time. In general I would think of myself as pretty glued together, but boy have I lost it at times. One of those times was with a Wifi router/ extender thing. You know the one that says all you have to do is take it out of the box and plug it in and it works. Let me tell you, it does not do that. Mckeane witnessed the strangulation and death of that router in all its glory. He literally that to turn into nothing less that what could only be called a “hostage Negotiator” Mom put the router down! Mom step away from the router.! No joke people. I’m surprised Amazon returned it, it was so dinged up, or maybe they are all returned looking like that. Maybe I’m not alone and JEFF you are just going to have to take one for the team!!!
Mckeane and I laugh, but boy was that a melt down.
So on that note, one of the most amazing Pod casts I’ve listen to is “Unlocking US” by Brene Brown but specifically
I’m Sorry: How to Apologize and Why it matters. It’s in 2 parts and the link for part 1 is here.
Brene Brown is this amazing researcher/ physiologist that has studied Shame. She is brilliant and if you’ve not see her Ted talk it’s a must!!! She does this podcast with Harriet Lerner who I have never hear of, but she clearly is also brilliant, I have listened to this over and over and if there is one thing I’m going to be good at in “life after COVID”, will be apologizing.
Towards the end of part 2 they talk about how some people just can’t and won’t apologize and they had a really good take on it that I thought is very relevant to our environment today especially our political environment our racial inequality and just our down right poor treatment of each other. You know we throw around the words, Narcissist, sociopath, egomaniac , I’ve done it myself to try and understand and explain the madness, but Harriett believes that it boils down to essentially every person stands on a platform or Self Worth and if your platform of self worth is solid and strong you can show up for yourself and people around you, but if your platform is rickety and unstable because you have no self worth you will have great difficultly in apologizing and owing your shit quiet frankly. You just can’t stand on that platform it has no foundation. Isn’t it so interesting that it boils down to SELF WORTH. I think it also explains why we feel such a loss with these type of people, how frustrated we feel with these people but if we look at it differently, that they have no self worth, we I think actually can feel empathy for them. Empathy can be learned it’s a trained response, but it starts with us the individual.
It must be so hard for these people, they must feel terrible. Can you imagine waking every morning and having to get up on that rickety platform.
We can’t change these people, they have to figure it out for themselves, but I think we can change our reaction to them. If we feel empathy towards them, we help ourselves live better. Maybe it gives them some space to explore themselves. Just because they are shouting does not mean we have to shout back.
The time of shouting is over, the time for listening is beginning.
I for one am going to become a professional apologizer by the time this is over and I can’t wait for that.
There is a new collective movement happening in the world and I’m so glad to be part of it. I’ve said to Derek in the last couple of weeks, It’s not whether I am bias or not, it’s god damm how many bias’s I have. It’s a constant check in and “pulling” of myself.
I think if we can start with a heart felt apology, that’s a start.!!!!
As they say: If you start an apology with
“I’m sorry, “BUT”,
it ain’t an apology :)) and when you listen and re listen to the pod cast you will know what I mean. Like I said a couple of weeks ago genetically 99% of us are the same and it will resonate with you, just give it a shot.
Lastly on the physical health front.
Insomnia : Valerian tea Normally this is sleepy time EXTRA . A cup before bed about 30mins
Nightmares: No stimulant later than 12 noon. This would be soda, Caffeine, Chocolate and drink the Valerian Tea.
Acute pains: Neck, back, shoulder. If its acute, just flared up, don’t stretch it and alternate between, 7-10 minutes and 15 heat. Always finishing with heat.
Shingles: Acupuncture is great to lessen the time you have symptoms, can’t get to Acupuncture call you GP, You will have to take antivirals and possibly a nerve blocker.
Mood swings: 5HTP as long as you are not taking any SSRI’s 50mg to 100mg daily.
The podcast is age appropriate for your children and quiet frankly they have a way better grasp of this stuff then us adults.
They call it conflict resolution. I used to think that was something to do with wars.
Share it with you friends and family.
Be safe, take care of yourself and take care of others.
All the best.
Marina.